From our Guardian correspondent Annabella Isawhore :
Police in the UK last week conducted dozens of dawn raids across the country and at an emotionally charged press conference today, it was confirmed that hundreds of realistic child sex dolls have been rescued from a lifetime of degrading abuse and exploitation by vile paedophiles. Speaking in a strained voice, Chief Inspector Roy Porker of New Scotland Yard described the horrific abuse that the dolls had suffered. ‘These dolls are made to look like ripe young 15 year old girls. Originally meant for the Japanese market, they are now being trafficked into the UK where sick perverts can move their flexible limbs into any position, be it doggy, missionary…I’m sad to say that these dolls come fitted with realistic arseholes and we have unfortunately uncovered evidence of anal abuse in some cases’.
There were audible gasps and it appeared at this point that Inspector Porker would break down in tears, and indeed myself and many of my fellow female reporters were struggling to contain our emotions as we listened to his heartfelt testimony. He went on to describe how he and his fellow officers at Scotland Yard’s newly created ‘Paedocrite Information Exchange (PIE)’ had kindly volunteered to rehouse the abused dolls :
‘Myself and my colleagues often have to spend entire days in the office looking at thousands of images of nubile young Russian girls teasing in thongs and lingerie, that have been seized from perverted harddrives across the land. Sometimes me and my boys feel suicidal at the end of the day, unable to get these disgusting images out of our heads, knowing that there is nothing we can do to those girls, I mean do for those girls who have been so terribly exploited by sick and twisted paedos. However, in this case, we have not only stopped the abuse of hundreds of these child dolls, who are often modelled on real life innocent 15 year old Russian girls, but we are in a position to give them new lives and new homes – loving homes where they will be welcomed as part of our families. I myself am a single male and live alone with my pet Labarador since my wife Esther succumbed to jungle fever and dumped me for some black cock, taking the kids with her to be brought up by him, but I immediately volunteered to take in seven or eight of these abused angels. I will do everything I can to be the father to them that they never had up to now in their poor lives.’
The intensely emotional scene was rudely interrupted by a question from Milo Yanapopolopohomolos, editor of controversial ‘alt-right’ news site ‘BriteFart’. Milo asked if it was obscene that the police were devoting so much resources to rescue young looking sex dolls when they had ignored the horrific rape by Muslim grooming gangs of thousands of real underage girls in towns such as Rotherham. Milo also asked if the police arresting ‘paedophiles’ for having sex with dolls was misguided when such dolls are clearly a substitute for real ‘children’. Indeed, did this not clearly prove the point of The Anti-feminist’ that paedohysteria is not about protecting children from abuse, but about protecting the older women’s ‘pussy cartel’? Milo was immediately arrested for Islamophobia and suspected paedophilia and later sentenced to life in prison. Only he wasn’t, because he’s a paedocrite himself, overcompensating at every turn for being a homosexual head of a right-wing movement.